Posted in baodingshi.com | edit November 21st, 2008 |
There is this woman I go to college with, I am helping her with a paper for Social Work. Part of the paper was to write how a specific experience changed our lives and what values we have learnt from it. She was struggling to think of one so I told her mine. I thought she would keep it confidential but right in the middle of the class she said
"Judy moved out of her parent's house at 17 and she met a bad man who sexually assaulted her". I was so embarrassed. Then she continued while the class listened and whispered that I had a nervous breakdown and on and on about what I told her. I thought she was a really good friend. Why would she want to embarrass me like this?well...it was wrong on her part to violate ur trust....but u kinda shud talk to her abt it....u wouldnt want her to go on doing this kinda stuff do u??.....its better t talk to her and solve this than brood abt it.....wass done is done....I hate to say it, but you are also at fault here.
When you tell someone that you just met some deeply personal things, they sometimes assume that you would be willing to share this information with anyone. After all, you had only known this woman a short time. When you dump on someone, you run this risk.
I'm not saying that she was right to do this, but if the information is confidential, then don't tell someone you barely know! Deep, lasting friendships take years to develop, not weeks or months.confront her and tell her that you're dissapointed and hurt. she has no right to treat you like that. I mean, really! it almost amuses me how shallow and unconsiderate blabbing *****es people can be sometimes. the teacher heard too, right? you can probably tell the teacher. If you can't, tell a counselor, your parents. some people just do this for the heck of it. mean spirited people who have no respect for one's privacy and secrets. For a 16 year old, i already know. Hopefully the class doesn't view you as a bad person. They should view you as a person willing to help and share that woman optionally. OMG!! I can't believe she would do something like that. I'm sorry to her that from you. I was sexually abused when I was younger. I'm in college now. I don't talk about it b/c it's personal to me. One day right after it happened my cousin kept making fun of me in Sunday school, the teacher told the priest, and the priest came to me. I didn't talk about it. So I kinda feel your pain. People who don't experience this depth of hurt don't understand how serious it is. If I were you I'd just stay away from her. She doesn't sound very trust worthy. I don't know if she was trying to be harmful or not. She might have just tried to show the class how you've overcome. And for that you should be proud! Congrats! Just remember ppl shouldn't see you any differently, and if they do they're not your friends. And you owe no one an explanation if they ask you about it. If you want to continue to be her friend tell her how much she hurt you, and don't tell her too much anymore (she might do it again.) Good luck!Is it 'rude' of her, you ask? My god that would be the understatement of the century to call it rude. She's a moron for doing that to you. What could possibly have possessed her to do that? She obviously likes to spread 'juicy' gossip so I hope you don't tell her anything personal ever again, as she can't keep her trap shut. Assuming you ever talk to her again that is.
She is lucky. At the very least she deserves a good hard slap.I would call her as.s out on that and tell her she shouldn't have opened up her big f#cking trap - and now your cousins Guido and Tony are coming to show her a lesson or two.It's definitely low on her part to say something like that to everybody without any kind of consideration for your feelings. That's the tricky part about finding real friends. People come in layers so sometimes you meet somebody who seems like a really good person, but then later you realize they're not who you thought they were. I would cut this girl off. It sounds like you didn't lose a good friend, you lost the illusion of a good friend. If that even makes any sense. lol If she's truely that insensitive then it won't take long for other people to realize that and want nothing to do with her.
